..And then they made me their chief

Sorry to anyone who cares.., I've suddenly had a lot to take care of. I'll be back when I can.

Dear London

My heart goes out to you and my thoughts are with you. I'm sure all of americas thoughts and prayers are for the victims and their families right now. I do hope they catch those responsible quickly.

The lazy I don't feel like posting anything post

Luckily I could steal this questionare from Larry. Thanks Larry. :)

Name: Alex
Nickname: Lizard, Nurse Porn (NOT for the reason you think)
Astrological sign: Scorpio
Age: 32
Height: 5'9"
Weight: I'll tell you when I get down to 118 again
Occupation: Gypsy
Birthplace: Brooklyn, New York
How many children: None
Do you drink (alcohol): Only occasionally and only to get drunk, stuff tastes terrible why drink it if not to get lit?
Do you smoke: I'm on the patch!
Favorite outdoor activities: jogging or taking walks, sex, if it's not a million degrees pretty much anything.
Favorite indoor activities: reading, movies, this computer, sex
Favorite colors: Red, Pink, Green
Favorite type of music: Punk/hardcore

Favorite musical groups/performers: Dead Kennedys, Subhumans, Janes Addiction, The Doors, Violent Femmes, Black Flagg, The Cramps, that is Adam Ant back in the day to the left of my blog there. Gorgeous man he was. Tons of classic as well, Led Zep, Bob Marley, Janis Joplin, Black Sabbath.

Favorite song at the moment: Don't really have one. I've been listening to Mountain Song a lot. From Janes Addiction.
Favorite song of all time: That is just an impossible question, couldnt pick one.
Favorite current song, alternative: I don't know what you crazy kids listen to these days.
Favorite current song, non-alternative: yeah right
Song that never fails to put me into a good mood: Tainted Love by Soft Cell
Should the song above fail, I'll play: Bikini Girls With Machine Guns, The Cramps
What's in your home CD/Cassette player right now: Never Mind the Bollocks here's the Sex Pistols
What's in you car CD/Cassette player right now: Nothing Shocking, Janes Addiction.
Do you play an instrument: Nah but all my boyfriends have.=P
Have you ever gone skinny-dipping: No but i've jumped in fully clothed more than once.
As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up: Elvira, or at least the new host of Movie Macabre and then an Archaeologist.
What would be your dream job now: Jet Setting eccentric Billionaress..barring that, still an archaeologist.
Have you ever been convicted of a crime: mmm no
Places you'd most like to visit: New Zealand, Santorini Greece, All of southern Italy, Maybe Turkey, England to break one off of Paul.
Your first car: A 1952 Chevy Deluxe with pink and purple flames. I crashed it.
Dream car: 64' and a half ford mustang.
Car you drive now: One step above pinto, Geo Metro Hatchback
Favorite season: Fall
Favorite holiday: Halloween, I still dress up and set up my house to scare the hell out of the little'ins
Favorite hobbies: This! Reading, carpentry
Favorite sport to play: Soccer, baseball
Favorite sport to watch: maybe aussie rules footy
Least favorite sport to watch: All the rest, watching sports on tv is boring crap I think.

Most humiliating moment: hmm there are so many...At 15 I had a crush on a senior boy, who knew it. I was at my locker one day, which was a bottom locker and forced me to squat down. As my crush walked by he thought he'd be funny and shut it on me, instead of closing, the door slammed against the jam, flew back, hit me on the head and knocked me on my butt. He felt bad but for some reason I felt stupid.

Do you have any siblings: No, only child
Do you get along with your parents: We share a comfortable mutual denial. But at least we don't fight.
Favorite place to chill: Right here
Favorite place to visit: New Orleans
What is your bad time of day: Getting out of bed
What is your good time of day: Any free time
Favorite flower/plant: Sunflowers, because they are gigantic beauty! Beauty that shines down on you.
Favorite subject in school: History and English in High School. Anthropology and writing in college.
Least favorite subject in school: I am mathmatically retarded.
Favorite authors: Mostly horror, Koontz, King, Poe, Lovecraft, Asimov, Classics. I love shakespear and J.M. Barrie.
Favorite book: Don Quixote
Current book I'm reading: In Search of the Trojan War by Michael Wood and The Lost World of Pompeii by Colin Amery, also Roadwork by stephen king
Favorite magazine: Archaeology, Jane, This Old House
Favorite movie of all time: Impossible question! If I HAD to choose, Evil Dead II Dead by Dawn.

Other favorite movies: There are just tons...Goonies, Yellowbeard, Princess Bride, Lord of the Rings, Thin Man, anything Tim Burton-y or M.Knight, Enter the Dragon or any Bruce Lee Hong Kong Fooey, Jeepers Creepers, Cabin Fever, All Zombie Movies especially shaun of the dead, Lost Boys, Pirates of the Carribbean, Harry Potter, Star Wars..the first 3. Reservoir Dogs, Killing Zoe, Dusk Till Dawn, SLC Punks,Suburbia, any creature feature or black and white including but not limited to, Plan 9 from Outer Space, The Day The Earth Stood Still, King Kong, Abbott and Costello monster movies and of course, The Godfather. This could be the longest list in history if I let it.

Favorite actors/actresses: Gary Oldman, Leonardo (Hey he's a good actor ok!) Al Pacino, Kate Winslette, The Patron Saint of Horror fans, Bruce Campbell
Favorite cartoon character: Fry from Futurama
Favorite food: Anything Greek. I love souvlaki
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups
Favorite alcoholic drink: Madori Sours
What is your bedtime: Depends, anywhere from 2am to 6am
Worst enemies: Fundamentalists

Interesting fact about your childhood: When I was a kid I was always climbing things. At any point I could be found up a tree or on a roof. I'd climb semi's, ditches, whatever. The day my step dad walked down the hallway and found me braced between the two walls and staring down at him from the ceiling was the day I got the nickname "Lizard".

The first thing you think of in the morning: "Crap, I lived"
Favorite thing to do when you're home alone: masturbate furiously
Things that make you feel good: Exercise, Pauls brutal idea of flirtation, staring at the ocean.
Things you don't like: Feet, spiders, beets, people who talk down to waitresses or snarky people in general.
Scariest feeling in the world: Unknown bug projectiles landing in your hair, That moment when you're out in the dark and you realise someone is behind you.
Best feeling in the world: intimate hugs, eating ice cream
Do you get motion sickness: Only on fishing boats and only on the ocean
Roller Coasters - Deadly or Exciting: Exciting, love them.
Thunderstorms - Cool or Scary: Cool, love them too. Especially with flannel jammies a good book and hot chocolate.
Pen or Pencil: Computer
Do you like to drive: All the time, I take road trips whenever possible.
Do you sleep with stuffed animals: No, but I sleep with my cat and I do have one stuffed animal from my childhood that sits on my nightstand, "Boofy" the dog.
Did you have imaginary friends or a blanket as a child: Neither, it was just me and Boofy
What words or phrases do you overuse: I curse too much, Right On!

Coolest things anyone ever gave you: a birthday present relating to Peter Pan,(one of my favorites) wrapped in brown paper and rope twine with an address from "Neverland". It's my favorite just because he had put in so much effort and it was so well done that I didn't want to open it and ruin it.

How would you characterize your political leanings: Middle of the road
If you could pick one super-human power, what would you choose: Invisibilty/super strength.
Favorite Quotes/Lyrics/Poems:

Quotes:

"I always respected the rules. I broke them all, but I respected them."
-Faye Dancer, AAGPBL

"First you take a run at La Fours with a sock full of quarters. I'd do it, but I threw my back out humping your mom last night. Neege."
-Jay, Mall Rats

--------------------------

Poetry:

Excerpts from Jim Morrison

Have you ever seen God?"
-a mandala. A symmetrical angel.

Felt? yes. Fucking. The Sun.
Heard? Music. Voices.
Touched? an animal. your hand.
Tasted? Rare meat, corn, water,
& wine.

------------------------------------

Ladies & gentlemen:
please attend carefully to these words & events
It's your last chance, our last hope.
In this womb or tomb, we're free of the swarming streets.
The black fever which rages is safely out those doors
My friends & I come from
Far Arden w/ dances, &
new music
Everywhere followers accrue
to our procession.
Tales of Kings, gods, warriors
and lovers dangled like
jewels for your careless pleasure

I'm Me!
Can you dig it.
My meat is real.
My hands--how they move
balanced like lithe demons
My hair--so twined and writhing
The skin of my face--pinch the cheeks
My flaming sword tongue
spraying verbal fire-flys
I'm real.
I'm human
But I'm not an ordinary man
No No No

---------------------------------


Song Lyrics

We held hands on the last night on earth.
Our mouths filled with dust, we kissed in the fields and under trees,
screaming like dogs, bleeding dark into the leaves.
It was empty on the edge of town but we knew everyone floated
along the bottom of the river.
So we walked through the waste where the road curved into the sea
and the shattered seasons lay,
and the bitter smell of burning was on you like a disease.
In our cancer of passion you said, "Death is a midnight runner."
The sky had come crashing down like the news of an intimate suicide.
We picked up the shards and formed them into shapes
of stars that wore like an antique wedding dress.
The echoes of the past broke the hearts of the unborn
as the ferris wheel silently slowed to a stop.
The few insects skittered away in hopes of a better pastime.
I kissed you at the apex of the maelstrom and asked
if you would accompany me in a quick fall,
but you made me realize that my ticket wasn't for two.
I rode alone.
You said, "The cinders are falling like snow."
There is poetry in despair, and we sang with unrivaled beauty,
bitter elegies of savagery and eloquence.
Of blue and grey.
Strange, we ran down desperate streets and carved our names in the flesh of the city.
The sun was stagnated somewhere beyond the rim of the horizon
and the darkness is a mystery of curves and lines.
Still, we lay under the emptiness and drifted slowly outward,
and somewhere in the wilderness we found salvation scratched
into the earth like a message.

- AFI

Radical,vegan/veggie/queer/trans friendly animal lovin house

I've been looking at roomate wanted sites for the move to Oregon. I figured sharing space will make the transition and going back to school much easier. These are some of the actual adverts. Hmmmm decisions decisions...

$215 - radical, vegan /veggie, queer / trans friendly, animal lovin'.......

We are a collective household, made up of 2 womyn,3 guys, 2 dogs and 2 cats. we are looking for another womyn identified person. we are politically radical,mainly vegan ( we cook some vegetarian things in the house but no eggs). we re into dumpstering, gardening (kind of permaculture style,in our double lot, which we re just getting started on), bikes, music, diy living.

I didn't know there were such things as Nazi Vegans.

we dont drink much ( especially not in the house), and some of us not at all. we re looking for someone who s into open and honest communication and open to working on their shit.

If there was ever a line so resplendent in simple trashiness to completely negate the possibility of a sufficient sarcastic response.. nay, not even that! It speaks for itself and requires none...

we have a shak and a trailer in the yard which are lived in. we re queer and
we re trans friendly.

we need someone who can be respectfull of the humyn and animal friends here alike. our 2 dog friends here are shephard crosses and tend to be a bit barky. not obsessive but they do like to protect the place. also when having new friends over for the first couple of times it can take a good 5-10 minutes to help the dogs feel comfortable with them, and this is something that each roomate is responsible for. they are in no way vicious, just wary and scared of some newcomers, especailly guys, as one of them came from an abusive situation. but unfortunately, we dont want to have any more animal friends here.

please contact us if you think you might be interested in joining our home

Seeking 2 Fabulous People for 2 Groovy rooms!


I have a vision for this place, and am looking for people who resonate with that vision. ......I am creating a living place that flows with positive energy, both of laughter and peace, creativity.......

My chi is practically re-aligning itself..

I am going to be doing some natural building and permaculture in the house/yard. Are you down? Light clay/straw wall for my bedroom, cob wall around the front yard. I would love to have people around who are interested in this way of building, who would like to have natural plaster on their bedroom wall, who like mud.

There will most likely be a kiln available on site, a small basement for clay?, or other such things. A garage, a roofed concrete area, soon to be clothesline. I eat meat but rarely cook it in the house excepting fish. Don’t watch TV, my bike loves me, Burning Man (Black Rock Boutique, yo), City Repair.


I can almost smell the patchouli oil.

But I tell you what, it still beats the shit out of "Strong Christian Household has room for Closed Minded Biggoted Fundamentalist, Fags Not welcome". Can't wait to get out of here even if it means I have to grow out my pit hair, create hemp rope macrame plant slings and knaw tofu.

I know I know!

But I've been busy OK? Mom finally bought a house so I've been helping her out with the particulars there. She wants all sorts of work done including putting wood floors (floating, thanks be to the gods) throughout, which I'm expected to do. She also has a backyard cottage that she wants made over. Most of last weekend was spent at Home Depot and Lowes deciding on what all she needed. So for the next month I'm going to be tearing out crap plywood walls, insulating and putting up new drywall, tearing out carpets and re-situating all sorts of cabinetry. Worth it for me though so she won't complain when I store all my crap at her house instead of paying 50 bones every month for storage when I leave for OR.
Also I've been on a diet the last few weeks which meant more time devoted to exercise, most of which I have to wake at the buttcrack of dawn or wait until late evening to do or face death by heat stroke. In the midst of my peanut m&m withdrawals I somehow decided now would be the best time to totally quit smoking as well and I got on the patch. Suffice it to say I've been a smidge on the cranky side.
However, I've already lost an official 7lbs. Hooray for me. To reward myself I've used my saved smoke money to buy this....



It was on sale.

I want these to go with...



Hey that would make a good super hero costume. =P Unfortunately I can't get the boots right now, unless someone wants to buy them for me...anyone? Anyone? Paul? Nah didn't think so. I'm still pretty stoked though.

That should keep some imaginations busy for a while, heh. Yes i'm evil.

A New Recruit

It seems yet another innocent has been sucked into the behemothic blog vortex. I've "known" Paul a long time now, in fact he's the totally inappropriate love of my life, (*sigh* so many missed opportunities) being both far too young and far to attached. Anyway, I know that his writings will be of interest to anyone who might enjoy the stories of an impetuous english youth's abuse of alcohol and persistant pursuit of debauchery. And hey, who doesn't love impetuous english youths? There's the fighting, the shaved heads, the olympic level cursing! I predict that older men will heave heavy sighs remembering their lost youth, feminists heads will explode and it's very likely we'll all reach orgasm.

Therefore, please welcome to the blogosphere the preeminent professional of prodigious profanity, without further ado, I give you....

Home of the Plastic Existence and Misspent Youth

Almost Ready to Move

I've been kind of distracted lately with the business of moving. Trying to figure out what needs to go and what should stay in storage. I guess I am a little saddened to think of leaving though I didn't believe I would be.

In summers most of my mornings are spent scrambling to finish whatever needs to be done in order to quickly escape into air conditioned comfort for the rest of the day. But this weekend was a busy one and left me doing chores with the humidity draining my energy for whatever free time I had left. If it were not so warm here I think I might have considered staying.

Right now, the day hangs a humid haze. Cicadas drone, aphids swarm in their dancing clouds creating different shapes. The slight disturbance in the leaves of kudzo leaden trees only foster the stagnant aura. There is the lap of lakewater against a rotting boat. A distant farm carries soft sounds of impatient horses and the cooing response of the farmers patois, which for all my high school french I understand very little of. In my mind I can almost imagine some faint and slow zydeco like fiddle as I sit surveying this mornings green nothing from my porch. All combine into a gentle din that I will now and forever associate with near intolerable heat.

Thankfully, there is the smell of relief in the air, a heavy gray sky seems to bring a hush of anticipation. It feels as if everything is waiting for the first thunder. Rain is welcomed and often wished for from every creature here I think.

I will miss it, I like it here though it's not quite the same as New Orleans which I love beyond any other place i've been. It holds some of the same eccentricities and surreal qualities that after nearly a year I have only just begun to take for granted. But the heat? That will most certainly not be missed but hopefully, blissfully forgotten in Oregons cooler climate.

Raiders of the Lost Ark, Hope No Ones Face Melts Off

So I've read through the grapevine that through the copper scroll, Vendyl Jones, (yes "Dr. Jones") thinks he has finally deciphered the location to the ever elusive ark of the covenant. He plans on going to the location and digging a hole large enough to lower a camera in and broadcast the event live to the world as it happens.

Anyone who knows me or has read through my journal knows that my lifes interest has been archaeology and my college major was anthropology. And Vendyl Jones or rather "Indiana Jones" the movie character is after all largely responsible for my transition from child paleontologist to seriously studying for a career in Anthropology. I have great respect for the man despite any differences in ideals merely for that reason alone. While I've tended to purposefully focus my attention away from the biblical facet, even I have to be extremely excited at what would turn out to be the most significant archeological discovery attained to date.

This find ranks in the top 5 along with the absolute missing link, the holy grail, discovering the true Atlantis and comfirming M theory. In the archaeology community it is very roughly equivilant to winning the national lottery on your 18th birthday.

Despite my excitement I can't ignore the possible rammifications of such a find that I'm not sure most people are fully able to grasp. Far be it from me to begrudge an old man from the very completion of his entire lifes work, but should he manage to not pull a Geraldo here and really find this thing it could mean a major change in the world as we know it now.

For someone like me, it is merely another historical artifact created by men and the discovery of such an artifact probably won't shed any light on it's potentially metaphysical origins. The problem is, for purposes of propoganda, the power and profit groups will try to limit our acces to and interpretation of it. Also if we take their discoveries seriously based on some sort of assumption that science and research and logic can gives us accurate and useful information from the ark that can be used to advance the cause of humanity then, they should also feel compelled to yield to our discoveries like evolution, stem cells, birth control, etc.

Splintering the multi-hued mirror of human discovery and invention into shards and fragments of competing ideologies is what created the need for the ark in the first place. If you read the Hebrew scriptures, god always desired a relationship with his people. He initially asked them to come to his mountain, all of them, and that he would walk among them and be with them. They decided to send Moses instead, put god behind a curtain, asked for laws instead of justice and made faith into an oppositional and secluded type of anti-intellectualism. By they I don't mean jews, although I would include them in this. I mean all of us.

If the ark is severely limited then people will run away with their own ideas as has been done for centuries with the bible, only for many this will be the ultimate confirmation and excuse to go ahead with some very foul and sadistic dealings. Those of us who like our freedom of will, could find ourselves fighting for that right (some of us feel we are already).

Also, I don't like the idea of god being in some object or some location that can be put behind glass and people can pay seven dollars (five for students) to rent multi-lingual headsets where James Earl Jones bellows on about the budding staff of Aaron. I just envision a scene that is a constant circus of fundamentalists, salesmen, crackpots and government officials swarming around outside of some Ark amusement park with a ride that parts the Red Sea and a virtual reality room to experience the biblical plagues of locusts and raining frogs. It's Holy Disney folks, come one come all, take a tour of King Solomons mines, pay $10 for your Moses burger and 39.95 to get a Queen of Sheba costume for the kiddies.

If this is legit, and Dr. Jones is correct or this isn't merely the Ark copy, it poses limitless social, political, historical and I guess ultimately spiritual significance. Let us hope the powers that be and humanity keep a level head.

Hmm I wonder if they'll try sprinkling goats blood on Yom Kippur? Anyway, heavy subject for my first day back eh? The next will be more comical I think. Thanks to those of you who worried about me, you're really sweet. =)

Bikini Girls With Machine Guns

I know I haven't posted lately but I wasn't feeling too talky and didn't have much to say. I'm not a talkative person anyway. This is pretty much my biggest outlet except for the phone. In day to day 'real life' I don't talk much at all. I prefer not to babble just to hear my own voice. I know I know, I'm an anomaly to my gender.

But that is true of a lot of things about me. Most women couldn't tell you what the industry considers to be the worst horror movie of all time, nevermind own it. Most women wouldn't know the characters from Sin City or the story of The Punisher BEFORE the films came out and most don't know Stan Lee. Most women will never know what a sliding T bevel is, let alone have their own toolbox.

I've always been odd for a girl.

I am still very girly. My most ridiculous possessions include an 80 dollar handbag and 20 dollar rhinestone hoop earings. I paint my nails AND toes religiously. I hate most sports. I want breast augmentation. I know very little about cars and won't touch my engine because I don't want to get dirty. I scream like a 6 year old when I see a spider.

Other peoples reaction to me is at odds as well, the two most common phrases I hear being "You're a pretty girl" and paradoxically "You have a lot of balls". Go figure. Men fall in love with me for the same reasons they later break things off. I'm a "cool and interesting" girl until they start to confuse my silence for coldness and my independence makes them feel un-needed. No man likes being told what kind of drill bit to use on a job or being out-hit by a girl at the batting cages. With respect to men I have had to bite my tongue, play dumb and frequently pretend helplessness. It is annoying and it gets exhausting when you've been doing it a long time.

My life on the whole has been a little out there too. Extracurricular activities have included, horse training, driving demolition derby and modeling in small runway/hair and makeup shows. I've skied down the Colorado river in an american flag bikini and i've done it sporting a Tattoo that is NOT on the small of my back. I've traveled across the US and Australia mostly on my own. I am forever trying to reconcile my wish to ride motocross with my desire to do it in glittery hot pink gear and helmet.

Anyway, due to my freakishness, this blog will go on the occasional mini hiatus while I get through one of my anti-chat phases. I knew it was time to take a break when I resorted to posting a web test. I apologize to those of you who were disturbed by the mutant-y picture of the last post and i'll try to leave things on a more pleasant note next time. =P

The Self Pity Post

I've come to the realization that when it comes to men I have a definite 'type'. If they look anything like this...



Or This...



Or, heaven help me...



And most especially like this... (seeing the pattern yet?)


Look this fabulous wet...


Have the worlds best placed Tattoo...


And I'd marry you for your mother...


You wouldn't even have to buy me dinner.



But am I ever so lucky to attract anything like the eye candy above? No. For the life of me I can't figure out why the men who hit on me look like this...



Or this..


I won't go into details but I'm starting to think it's some sick cosmic joke at my expense.