There's always a plus side

I feel horrid. My throat feels roughly as if I've attempted to swallow half a dozen razor blades. If I speak it's at a whisper. I've downed about 4 lbs. of cough drops, giving me heartburn and making my stomach sick to boot. When I manage to swallow, I’m pretty sure I’m drinking my own blood.
There is no amount of honey imbued lemon tea or disgusting hot salty water that brings me relief. I've woken at 3 am for the last 3 nights in order to try to swallow 4 more aspirin and savor yet another cough drop, hoping as I open the wrapper, that I don't choke on it when I finally do fall back in exhaustion. This is the worst kind of sick I’ve ever been and I’ve never had a sore throat for longer than 6 hours and certainly not one that a couple of aspirin didn't fade into a memory. I am starting to think I inhaled some sort of chemical that burned or maybe, too many of "J's" night time farts. I would slit my own throat, if it didn't already feel like I had.

I am in misery.

On the plus side, my nose isn't running. I just hate that.

So Long Astoria!

Damn the amount of crap one has to go through to use the "new" blogger. 3 Emails 2 pages and one reset password later I finally gained access. I'll probably forget the password by tomorrow though and have to do it all again.
In other news, "J" surprised me with a trip for valentines day. We had a great weekend on the coast. A beautiful view from our little apartment on the beach AND got to go up to Astoria! Whoo Hoo Astoria!
I got to see the Goonies house live and in person. It was so cool to finally see those locations. Astoria has to be the most beautiful town in Oregon.
This is what the house looks like now. It's much the same on the outside except the porch has been bumped out a bit and the trim is painted a dark purple. Also the old rickety fence and messy hill has been replaced and there's no more rube goldberg contraptions in the yard (something I think the new owner should have kept) still it was so much fun to be there.

No I did not do the truffle shuffle. Yes I wanted to.

I got pics of the jail the houses, and the flavel house. I also got a pick of "J" at the bowling alley looking out the window that chunk smashes his pizza and drink on.




Then I cam home to a nearly destroyed house as bf's brother is an effin alcoholic slob.

Been a loooonggg time

I've got an internet connection again. Rather, I got a rangebooster for my laptop so i'm kind of stealing the connection but whatever, tomato/tomawto. Even so i've been under a pretty heavy work load at school so I haven't had much time for internetty type stuff. The irony, a major in programming and I don't have time to be on the comp.
I'm supposed to be studying for a test in calculus right now but i'm desperately trying to find reasons to procrastinate, hence another entry in my long neglected blog though I haven't got too much to say.
I found out recently that a good friend of mine from back in Cal passed away a little over a year ago. I went down and visited his grave and cried for a while. Saw the grandparents and the aunts and uncles and couldn't wait to come back home. If my family wasn't in OC I don't think i'd ever go back there again.
I have a few new pictures which I haven't had time to develop yet, from the halloween rave thingy I went to that my current boys cousin puts on every year, I dressed up as one of the living dead. I looked pretty icky. I'll get around to doing that one of these days and maybe i'll post them.
As I read over this it sounds pretty down, but i'm really tired and I'd rather be playing any number of video games than doing even one more math problem. After this one I have to take discrete math. What the hell is discrete math? I've never heard of it and I maintain that I was right all along in high school, I'LL NEVER USE THIS STUFF!
And I never have, except for other math classes. Damnit.
Anyway, if anyone wants to get a hold of me I do have a myspace account though I don't blog it much either, in fact whatever I write in one I usually copy to the other. But I mostly use it to keep in touch with the old gang in OC.

Click Here

RIK: If you come by again, catch me on there cause I don't use that other email anymore either. I've let everything go to hell!

If I knew you were dead

I'm sitting in school where i'm supposed to be paying attention, but i'm not. I'm wondering what the hell is wrong with me. Because, I just had to check out the ex's myspace even though whenever I do, it makes me physically sick.
It's like, I need to check to SEE if i'll still get sick and this time, there was a pic of him on there with his new gf, it is taking all I have right now to keep down the bile.

But for the life of me I can't understand why the hell I care? It has been nearly 3 years now! If I thought about an ex more than 3 MONTHS after a breakup before i'd think there was something really wrong.

Frankly i'm known for my male-like indifference even whilst still in the relationship. This is probably what broke us up in the first place, don't really know and it's unimportant. The point is, 3 years and I still feel sick.

It's not as if I haven't moved on. I changed states, twice. Found a new boyfriend, twice, enrolled in school etc. And it's not as if I look at my ex's stuff every day or even every week. It's just every so often, 3 to 6 months, I just have to see. I need to know if he's alive, if he's doing well or poor, and if I still feel the urge to puke.

I don't actually wish him harm, but sometimes I wish I could pretend he wasn't out there somewhere.

You Just Don't F***K with Astronauts Man!

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Can I Borrow your eyeliner?

I was attempting to stop procrastinating on my homework when behind me I heard Jay Leno on the tube announcing the nights band was "30 Seconds to Mars" fronted by Jared Leto. I thought, 'Oh god another actor who thinks he's a rock star',,,,

Surprisingly my sarcasm samurai, already spinning and ready to do some systematic slicing were quickly re-sheathed. The band was not bad at all.

Furthermore, I had never found Jared Leto attractive, but there's nothing so come-hither as a lazy chunk of mussy hair falling over the heavily lined eye of a darkly rockin semi androgynous twenty something....

Boys in eyeliner, will I ever grow out of it? 20 years later and no sign of slowing. I may want to get me some botox.

At least I know I'm not alone or HIM wouldn't be as big as they are; lets face it the music isn't all that fab. I'm sure I'd get vicious complaints about that comment if I had any actual readers but I'm convinced that when the teen fandom grows up and gathers a musical repertoire not strictly based on who they'd like to take their virginity, they will come to agree. I'm patient.

A while back I had a similar first reaction to the LICKS fronted by Juliet Lewis. Disdain was almost simultaneous with the mention of her name probably because of my previous disgust for her left over from the 1990's red carpet, corn row debacle. But then I turned absolutely gooey at how effin rockin she really is. I'm not attracted to her in eyeliner, but I'm definitely going to catch the LICKS next time they're in town. She is a better front-person than most of the non-acting singers out there. However I must maintain my insistence that she never wear her hair in corn rows again, I love her as an actress but that was just wrong.

After "30 Seconds to Mars" It seems my violent derision will continue to be unsatisfied having been disappointed more and more often, but at least I'll have plenty of scornful comments saved up and ready for Keanu Reeves, Dogstar or whatever the hell Billy Bob's band is if they ever manage to force themselves on unsuspecting late night viewers.

I still have to do homework.

Immigration

This is officially the best blog post i've ever seen on the subject. A must read for the terminally sarcastic.

Clicky

hope that link works, it's brilliant.

Mrrphfff

You know how sometimes you have those weeks where just everything in life goes completely, dramatically, and inextricably WRONG? The latest in a long list of ridiculously crappy happenings, "crappenings" if you will..
I went to open my car door and the door handle broke off in my hand. Mrrphfff was the sound I made as I stared at it in jaw clenched disbelief.

Now, I will have to roll down my window and reach outside to open my door.
I don't mind being a little on the white trash side, in fact I kinda embrace it I mean, what the hell right? But this is a little embarrassing.

Ima have to hit a 'pick a part' this weekend and get me a new one, shoot.

And now NOW Johnny V's blog isn't working? Why? Why!? I'm starting to feel panicked.

HOT

I moved out of Louisiana to get away from the heat; well and that whole creepy religous nutjob thing but mostly the heat, and now I am suffering yet again in 97 degrees. The scary thing is, it's really not feeling that bad to me. I'm assuming due to the lack of 100% humidity I would have experienced in La. But still, i'm a little cranky about it.
It's been about 8 months since the move and I had assumed that by now I would be in my newly muscled, healthy frame swinging half way up a mountain in one of those rock climbing harnesses sucking down some granola and dried bananna chips.

But who am I kidding?

I'm actually sitting in the cafeteria sucking down a McDonalds happy meal french fry, waiting for my next class to start. At least I'm doing that, the school thing I mean and I'm not doing bad at all. I managed a 4.150 for my gpa last semester. It being the first time I ever gave a rats ass about my gpa, I wasn't even aware it went past 4.0. So yea! for me.
I am trying to get through things as quick as possible so I'm trecking straight through summer semester as well, full loads and then some all the way. Last semester was 16 units, this one is only 12, so it looks like i'll have time to take a crap this month.
I have to say I'm pretty damned tired but the prospect of earning a decent salary by next summer is motivating. I still don't like the whole "boss" thing though, still trying to figure a way out of it.

Speaking of which, I was recently contacted by a great friend of mine from way back in our teen years. Somehow, once he got out of his 3 year prison stint, he managed to become a millionare. I'm really sincerely happy for him but I just have to say, What the fuck?
He's the second ex con I know that is. Meanwhile all the straight edges I knew are out selling tires or working for Home Depot.

Apparently getting an ass raping is the best motivator.

P.S. I've decided i'm going to learn fluent italian just so I can read federico's blog. God that's frustrating.

BEHOLD!

the great ACHILLES! Dun da da dun! He is bold, he is mighty, all bow before his 2048MB of DDR Memory! 128 Dedicated and... well he's just cool.


Yes I have named my computer. No I am not ashamed.