Bathroom Trauma

Well now that I'm here I'm drawing a blank. Big shock. That happens to me just about every time I try to write anything, birthday cards, notes, emails etc. But if I do make an entry it's a good bet I'm procrastinating about something. Tonight it's cleaning my bathroom.
I have a good excuse, I promise. I've become afraid of my bathroom. In the last few days I've not been able to step accross the threshold without something horrific or painful happening to me.

The first day I went in, minding my own business, getting ready to DO my business mind you, I took my seat, head in hand, (having just risen for the morning and still half asleep, my neck couldn't hold it up yet..) I briefly felt something brush me and looked up to find a giant spider landing on my head. I'm a little freaked out by spiders as it is, I don't get hysterical ordinarily but this spider actually had WEIGHT. And as a half dozen pictures of decayed flesh caused by brown recluse bites raced through my head..I found the only thing at my disposal to swat it with was the roll of TP. It unceremoniously hit the ground and laid there on it's back. I'm convinced it was just playing dead, so I didnt take any chances and squished it fast. I made sure to remove the bit of TP that had touched it off the roll before using it and after hung a fly swater within easy reach.

On the second day I was getting into the shower and when I took the first step in, my foot slipped forcing my shin to hit the side of the tub hard right on the bone. A purple welt appeared immediately and I actually stopped to rub it and tentatively kept testing it to see if it was broken. Which then sent me into an emotional downward spiral about how old I am to sit there nursing a bump on the shin and what a hypochondriac wussy I was and how I wouldn't have done such a thing when I was 20, instead just walking it off. That could have been an entry in and of itself. Instead of another entry I'm simply going to embrace my age and buy some of those sticky foot shaped slip guard things for the bottom of the tub.

Anyway, after that there has been a nail scrape to the elbow (from which the new fly swater hangs), an ant invasion and a bowl backup at the worst possible time for overflows. I want nothing more than to scrub my tub for a long hot bath right now but i'm afraid the roof will cave in putting a dent in my head and sending giant spiders cascading down on top.

Here's hoping bathrooms are safer in Florida.