If I knew you were dead

I'm sitting in school where i'm supposed to be paying attention, but i'm not. I'm wondering what the hell is wrong with me. Because, I just had to check out the ex's myspace even though whenever I do, it makes me physically sick.
It's like, I need to check to SEE if i'll still get sick and this time, there was a pic of him on there with his new gf, it is taking all I have right now to keep down the bile.

But for the life of me I can't understand why the hell I care? It has been nearly 3 years now! If I thought about an ex more than 3 MONTHS after a breakup before i'd think there was something really wrong.

Frankly i'm known for my male-like indifference even whilst still in the relationship. This is probably what broke us up in the first place, don't really know and it's unimportant. The point is, 3 years and I still feel sick.

It's not as if I haven't moved on. I changed states, twice. Found a new boyfriend, twice, enrolled in school etc. And it's not as if I look at my ex's stuff every day or even every week. It's just every so often, 3 to 6 months, I just have to see. I need to know if he's alive, if he's doing well or poor, and if I still feel the urge to puke.

I don't actually wish him harm, but sometimes I wish I could pretend he wasn't out there somewhere.

You Just Don't F***K with Astronauts Man!

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Can I Borrow your eyeliner?

I was attempting to stop procrastinating on my homework when behind me I heard Jay Leno on the tube announcing the nights band was "30 Seconds to Mars" fronted by Jared Leto. I thought, 'Oh god another actor who thinks he's a rock star',,,,

Surprisingly my sarcasm samurai, already spinning and ready to do some systematic slicing were quickly re-sheathed. The band was not bad at all.

Furthermore, I had never found Jared Leto attractive, but there's nothing so come-hither as a lazy chunk of mussy hair falling over the heavily lined eye of a darkly rockin semi androgynous twenty something....

Boys in eyeliner, will I ever grow out of it? 20 years later and no sign of slowing. I may want to get me some botox.

At least I know I'm not alone or HIM wouldn't be as big as they are; lets face it the music isn't all that fab. I'm sure I'd get vicious complaints about that comment if I had any actual readers but I'm convinced that when the teen fandom grows up and gathers a musical repertoire not strictly based on who they'd like to take their virginity, they will come to agree. I'm patient.

A while back I had a similar first reaction to the LICKS fronted by Juliet Lewis. Disdain was almost simultaneous with the mention of her name probably because of my previous disgust for her left over from the 1990's red carpet, corn row debacle. But then I turned absolutely gooey at how effin rockin she really is. I'm not attracted to her in eyeliner, but I'm definitely going to catch the LICKS next time they're in town. She is a better front-person than most of the non-acting singers out there. However I must maintain my insistence that she never wear her hair in corn rows again, I love her as an actress but that was just wrong.

After "30 Seconds to Mars" It seems my violent derision will continue to be unsatisfied having been disappointed more and more often, but at least I'll have plenty of scornful comments saved up and ready for Keanu Reeves, Dogstar or whatever the hell Billy Bob's band is if they ever manage to force themselves on unsuspecting late night viewers.

I still have to do homework.

Immigration

This is officially the best blog post i've ever seen on the subject. A must read for the terminally sarcastic.

Clicky

hope that link works, it's brilliant.

Mrrphfff

You know how sometimes you have those weeks where just everything in life goes completely, dramatically, and inextricably WRONG? The latest in a long list of ridiculously crappy happenings, "crappenings" if you will..
I went to open my car door and the door handle broke off in my hand. Mrrphfff was the sound I made as I stared at it in jaw clenched disbelief.

Now, I will have to roll down my window and reach outside to open my door.
I don't mind being a little on the white trash side, in fact I kinda embrace it I mean, what the hell right? But this is a little embarrassing.

Ima have to hit a 'pick a part' this weekend and get me a new one, shoot.

And now NOW Johnny V's blog isn't working? Why? Why!? I'm starting to feel panicked.

HOT

I moved out of Louisiana to get away from the heat; well and that whole creepy religous nutjob thing but mostly the heat, and now I am suffering yet again in 97 degrees. The scary thing is, it's really not feeling that bad to me. I'm assuming due to the lack of 100% humidity I would have experienced in La. But still, i'm a little cranky about it.
It's been about 8 months since the move and I had assumed that by now I would be in my newly muscled, healthy frame swinging half way up a mountain in one of those rock climbing harnesses sucking down some granola and dried bananna chips.

But who am I kidding?

I'm actually sitting in the cafeteria sucking down a McDonalds happy meal french fry, waiting for my next class to start. At least I'm doing that, the school thing I mean and I'm not doing bad at all. I managed a 4.150 for my gpa last semester. It being the first time I ever gave a rats ass about my gpa, I wasn't even aware it went past 4.0. So yea! for me.
I am trying to get through things as quick as possible so I'm trecking straight through summer semester as well, full loads and then some all the way. Last semester was 16 units, this one is only 12, so it looks like i'll have time to take a crap this month.
I have to say I'm pretty damned tired but the prospect of earning a decent salary by next summer is motivating. I still don't like the whole "boss" thing though, still trying to figure a way out of it.

Speaking of which, I was recently contacted by a great friend of mine from way back in our teen years. Somehow, once he got out of his 3 year prison stint, he managed to become a millionare. I'm really sincerely happy for him but I just have to say, What the fuck?
He's the second ex con I know that is. Meanwhile all the straight edges I knew are out selling tires or working for Home Depot.

Apparently getting an ass raping is the best motivator.

P.S. I've decided i'm going to learn fluent italian just so I can read federico's blog. God that's frustrating.

BEHOLD!

the great ACHILLES! Dun da da dun! He is bold, he is mighty, all bow before his 2048MB of DDR Memory! 128 Dedicated and... well he's just cool.


Yes I have named my computer. No I am not ashamed.

*Yawn*

Almost out of hibernation. Damn it took me a long time to remember my password.