I'm sitting in school where i'm supposed to be paying attention, but i'm not. I'm wondering what the hell is wrong with me. Because, I just had to check out the ex's myspace even though whenever I do, it makes me physically sick.
It's like, I need to check to SEE if i'll still get sick and this time, there was a pic of him on there with his new gf, it is taking all I have right now to keep down the bile.
But for the life of me I can't understand why the hell I care? It has been nearly 3 years now! If I thought about an ex more than 3 MONTHS after a breakup before i'd think there was something really wrong.
Frankly i'm known for my male-like indifference even whilst still in the relationship. This is probably what broke us up in the first place, don't really know and it's unimportant. The point is, 3 years and I still feel sick.
It's not as if I haven't moved on. I changed states, twice. Found a new boyfriend, twice, enrolled in school etc. And it's not as if I look at my ex's stuff every day or even every week. It's just every so often, 3 to 6 months, I just have to see. I need to know if he's alive, if he's doing well or poor, and if I still feel the urge to puke.
I don't actually wish him harm, but sometimes I wish I could pretend he wasn't out there somewhere.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
If I knew you were dead
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2 comments:
Hey, Alex.
Just crossed your your blog among my links.
Anyway, I haven't written to you in a while and been wondering how you've been. It's been a pretty eventful summer. Several things are quite different. The biggest is that I'm not dating Kerri anymore... we broke up sometime in June. Still friends and still hang out, but not dating. Someone else in the picture with me, though, who's fantastically wonderful.
How are you? School going well? You said you were in an accelerated schedule so you'll get done sooner, right? Anyway, miss talking to you and I hope all is well.
Rik
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